In the Name of Allah , Most Gracious , Most Merciful
This humble book is written in English in order to introduce a real Muslim woman as much as possible in a simplified way . I debt a gratitude to Mr . Fatemi Sefat and all of his colleagues in the supreme leader�s agency in Shahid Rajaiee Teacher Training University especially Mr . Amir Hussein Naseri for the help and support in publishing the book and also I am very thankful to Dr . Meshkat for revising the book and finally thanks to Ansariyan Publications for all their helps , supports , and the editing of the book .
I hope the Imam of Time may accept this humble work and the readers will truly benefit from the fine counsels of the noble leaders of Islam about women in Islam .
Contrary to widespread erroneous belief ,
Contrary to widespread negative stereotyping ,
Contrary to regrettable practices in some Islamic societies where anti - Islamic culture traditions have won over Islamic teachings and where women are subdued (and men even more so( .
This information has been written with the objective of briefing you on the true Islamic teachings regarding women laid down by the Qur�an and prophet Mohammad over 14 centuries ago .
- Islam declared women and men equal .
- Islam condemned pre - Islamic practices degrading and oppressing women .
- The same injunctions and prohibitions of Islam equally apply to both sexes .
- Islam gave woman the right of inheritance and the right of individual independent ownership unhampered
by father , husband , brother , son or anyone else .
- Islam gave women the right to accept or reject a marriage proposal free from pressure , and by mutual agreement to specify in the marriage contract that she has the right to divorce
(if she misses that option she has the right to seek court divorce if she deems the marriage to have failed beyond repair) .
Islam does not require woman to change her name at marriage .
Islam protects the family and condemns the betrayal of marital fidelity . It recognizes only one type of family : husband and wife united by authentic marriage contract .
- "Heaven is at the feet of mothers" , is a basic Islamic teaching .
- "The best of you are the kindest to their wives and I am your best to mine" , is a teaching by Prophet Mohammad .
Islam enjoins sounds morality in thinking , behavior and appearance . Dress fashions and social patterns that reduce woman to a sex object and exploit her as such are not acceptable to Islam .
- The observance of chastity and moral standards is equally demanded by Islam from both men and women . "Women are the siblings of men" , is a saying of Prophet Mohammad .
The Muslim woman takes good care of her body , promoting its good health and strength . She is active , not flabby or overweight . So she does not eat to excess; she eats just enough to maintain her health and energy .
This is in accordance with the guidance of Allah in the Qur'an :
. . . Eat and drink : but waste not by excess , for Allah loves not the wasters . ? (Qur'an 7 : 31(
The Prophet (pbuh) also advised moderation in food and drink :
"There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his stomach , but if he must fill it , then let him allow one - third for food , one - third for drink , and one - third for air . "
She understands that a strong believer is more loved by Allah than a weak believer , as the Prophet (pbuh) taught , so she always seeks to strengthen her body by means of a healthy lifestyle .
The Muslim woman does not forget to maintain her physical fitness and energy by following the healthy practices recommended by Islam . But she is not content only with the natural , healthy diet referred to above . She also follows an organized exercise program , appropriate to her physical condition , weight , age and social status . These exercises give her body agility , beauty , good health , strength and immunity to disease; this will make her more able to carry out her duties , and more fit to fulfil her role in life , whether it be as a wife or mother , young girl or old woman .
The Muslim woman who truly follows the teachings of Islam keeps her body and clothes very clean . She bathes frequently , in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh) , who advised Muslims to take baths , especially on Fridays : "Have a bath on Fridays and wash your heads , even if you are not in a state of janabah (impurity , e . g . following marital relations) , and use perfume . "
"Whoever attends Friday prayer , man or woman , should take a bath (ghusl) . "
The Prophet (pbuh) placed such a great emphasis on cleanliness and bathing that some of the Imams considered performing ghusl before Friday prayer to be obligatory (wajib( .
Cleanliness is one of the most essential requirements of people , especially women , and one of the clearest indicators of a sound
and likeable character . Cleanliness makes a woman more likeable not only to her husband , but also to other women and her relatives .
The Prophet (pbuh) hated to see people come out in public wearing dirty clothes when they were able to clean them . He drew attention to the fact that the Muslim should always be clean , smart and pleasing to look at .
What a great contrast there is between the refined civilization of Islam and other , human civilizations!
The intelligent Muslim woman takes care of her mouth , for no one should ever have to smell an unpleasant odour coming from it . She does this by cleaning her teeth with a siwak , toothbrush , toothpaste and mouthwash after every meal . She checks her teeth and visits the dentist at least once a year , even if she does not feel any pain , in order to keep her teeth healthy and strong . She consults otolaryngologists ("ear , nose and throat" doctors) if necessary , so that her breath will remain clean and fresh . This is undoubtedly more befitting for a woman .
The Prophet (pbuh) also taught Muslims to take care of their hair , and to make it look attractive and beautiful , within the limits of the Islamic rulings .
The Prophet (pbuh) always took note of people's appearance , and he never saw a scruffily dressed man with untidy hair but he criticized him for his self - neglect .
If this is how the Prophet (pbuh) taught men to take care of themselves , then how much more applicable are his teachings to women , for whom beauty and elegance are more befitting , as they are the ones to whom men draw close and seek comfort , tranquillity and happiness in their company! It is obvious to the sensitive Muslim woman that the hair is one of the most important features of a woman's beauty and attractiveness .
It is no surprise that the Muslim woman is concerned with her clothes and appearance , without going to extremes or making a wanton display of herself . She presents a pleasing appearance to her husband , children , mahram relatives and other Muslim women , and people feel comfortable with her . She does not put them off with an ugly or untidy appearance and she always checks herself and takes care of herself , in accordance with the teachings of Islam , which asks its followers to look good in ways that are permitted .
In his commentary on the ayah :
Say : Who has prohibited the embellishment of Allah which He has brought forth
for His servants and the good provisions? (Qur'an 7 : 32)
The Muslim does all of this in accordance with the Islamic ideal of moderation , avoiding the extremes of either exaggeration or negligence :
Those who , when they spend , are not extravagant and not niggardly , but hold a just [balance] between those [extremes] . ? (Qur'an25 : 67(
Islam wants its followers , and especially its advocates (da`is) , to stand out in gatherings in an attractive fashion , not to appear unsightly or unbearable . Neglecting one's appearance to the extent of being offensive to one's companions in the name of asceticism and humility is not part of Islam . The Prophet (pbuh) , who was the epitome of asceticism and humility , used to dress in decent clothes and present a pleasant appearance to his family and companions . He regarded dressing well and looking good to be a demonstration of the Blessings of Allah :
"Allah loves to see the signs of His gifts on His servant . "
So long as this taking care of one's outward appearance does not go to extremes , then it is part of the beauty that Allah has allowed for His servants and encouraged them to adopt :
)O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer : eat and drink : but waste not by excess , for Allah loves not the wasters .
Say : Who has prohibited the embellishment of Allah which He has brought forth for His servants
and the good provisions? Say : They are , in the life of this world , for those who believe , [and] purely for them on the Day of Judgment . Thus do We explain the Signs in detail for those who understand . ? (Qur'an 7 : 31 - 32(
Naturally , those who call people to Allah should be better and smarter in appearance than others , so that they will be better able to attract people and make their message reach their hearts .
Indeed they , unlike others , are required to be like this even if they do not go out and meet people , because those who proclaim the word of Allah should take care of their appearance and pay attention to the cleanliness of their bodies , clothes , nails and hair . They should do this even if they are in a state of isolation or retreat , in response to the call of the natural inclination of man (fitrah) which the Prophet (pbuh) told us about and outlined its requirements :
"Five things are part of the fitrah : circumcision , removing the pubic hair , plucking hair from the armpits , cutting the nails , and trimming the moustache . "
Taking care of oneself in accordance with this fitrah is something encouraged by Islam and supported by every person of common sense and good taste .
She does not go to extremes of eautification or make a wanton display of herself
Paying attention to one's appearance should not make a
Muslim woman fall into the trap of wanton display (tabarruj) and showing her beauty to anyone other than her husband and mahram relatives . She should not upset the balance which is the basis of all Islamic teaching , for the Muslim woman always aims at moderation in all things , and is on the alert to prevent any one aspect of her life from taking over at the expense of another .
She never forgets that Islam , which encourages her to look attractive within the permitted limits , is also the religion that warns her against going to such extremes that she becomes a slave to her appearance , as the hadith says :
"Wretched is the slave of the dinar , dirham and fancy clothes of velvet and silk! If he is given , he is pleased , and if he is not given , he is displeased . "
Our women today , many of whom have been influenced by the international fashion houses to such an extent that a rich woman will not wear an outfit more than once , have fallen into that slavery of which the Prophet (pbuh) warned and , as a result , they are trapped in the misery of that senseless enslavement to excessively luxurious clothing and accessories . Such women have deviated from the purpose for which humanity was created in this world .
One of the worst excesses that many modern Muslim women have fallen into is the habit of showing off expensive outfits at wedding parties
, which have become fashion shows where competition is rife and is taken to extremes far beyond the realms of common sense and moderation . This phenomenon becomes clearest when the bride herself wears all her outfits , which may number as many as ten , one after the other : each time she changes , she comes out and shows it off to the other women present , exactly like the fashion models in the West . It does not even occur to the women among whom this habit is common , that there may be women present who are financially unable to buy such outfits , and who may be feeling depressed and jealous , or even hostile towards the bride and her family , and other rich people . Nothing of this sort would happen if brides were more moderate , and just wore one or two outfits at their wedding parties . This is better than that extravagant showing - off which is contradictory to the balanced , moderate spirit of Islam .
No doubt the Muslim woman who has surrounded herself with the teachings of this great religion is spared and protected from such foolish errors , because she has adopted its principles of moderation .
The sensitive Muslim woman takes care of her mind just as she takes care of her body , because the former is no less important than the latter . Long ago , the poet Zuhayr ibn Abi Sulma said :
"A man's tongue is half of
him , and the other half is his heart; what is left is nothing more than the image of flesh and blood . "
This means that a person is essentially composed of his heart and his tongue , in other words what he thinks and what he says . Hence the importance of taking care of one's mind and supplying it with all kinds of beneficial knowledge is quite clear .
The Muslim woman is responsible just as a man is , so she is also required to seek knowledge , whether it is "religious" or "secular� that will be of benefit to her . When she recites the ayah ? . . . But say , `O my Lord! Advance me in knowledge . '? (Qur�an : 114) and hears the hadith , "Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim man and Muslim woman , " she knows that the teachings of the Qur'an and Sunnah are directed at men and women equally , and that she is also obliged to seek the kinds of knowledge that have been made obligatory for individuals and communities (fardh `ayn and fardh kifayah) to pursue them from the time that this obligation was made known to the Muslim society .
The Muslim woman understands the high value that has been placed on knowledge since the earliest days of Islam . The women of the Ansar asked the Prophet (pbuh) : "Appoint a special day for us when we can learn from you , for the men have taken
all your time and left nothing for us . " He told them , "Your time is in the house of so - and - so [one of the women] . " So he came to them at that place and taught them there . "25
The Muslim women had a keen desire for knowledge , and they never felt too shy to ask questions about the teachings (ahkam) of Islam , because they were asking about the truth , and ? Allah is not ashamed [to tell you] the truth? (Qur'an 33 : 53) . Many reports illustrate the confidence and maturity with which the early Muslims posed questions to the Prophet (pbuh) , this great teacher , seeking to understand their religion more fully .
Islam has made the pursuit of knowledge obligatory on women and men alike , as the Prophet (pbuh) said : "Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim man and Muslim woman . " In other words , it is a duty on every person , man or woman , who utters the words of the Shahadah , so it comes as no surprise to see Muslim women thirsting for knowledge , devoting themselves to its pursuit . Muslim women of all times and places have understood the importance of seeking beneficial knowledge , and the positive effects this has on their own characters and on their children , families and societies . So they seek knowledge enthusiastically , hoping to learn whatever will benefit them in this world and
the next .
The first thing that the Muslim woman needs to know is how to read the Qur'an properly (with tajwid) , and to understand its meaning . Then she should learn something of the sciences of hadith , the sirah (life and conducts) of the Prophet (pbuh) , and the history of the women of the Sahabah (the Prophet�s companions) and Tabi`in (successors) , who are prominent figures in Islam . She should acquire as much knowledge of fiqh (jurisprudence) as she needs to ensure that her worship and daily dealings are correct , and she should ensure that she has a sound grasp of the basic principles of her religion .
Then she should direct her attention to her primary specialty in life , which is to take proper care of her house , husband , family and children , for she is the one whom Allah has created specially to be a mother and to give tranquility and happiness to the home . She is the one to whom Islam has given the immense responsibility of raising intelligent and courageous children . Hence there are many proverbs and sayings nowadays which reflect the woman's influence on the success of her husband and children in their working lives , such as , "Look for the woman , " "Behind every great man is a woman , " and "The one who rocks the cradle with her right hand rocks the world with her left , " etc . No woman can do all
of that unless she is open - minded and intelligent , strong of personality and pure of heart . So she is more in need of education , correction and guidance in forming her distinct Islamic personality .
It is unwise for women's education to be precisely the same as that of men . There are some matters that concern women only , that men cannot deal with; and there are matters that concern men only , that women cannot deal with . There are things for which women were created , and others for which men were created , and each person should do that for which he or she was created , as the Prophet (pbuh) taught . When the Muslim woman seeks to learn and specialize in some field , she should bear in mind the Islamic teaching regarding her intellectual , psychological and social make - up , so that she will prepare herself to fulfil the basic purpose for which she was created , and will become a productive and constructive member of her family , society and ummah (nation) , not an imitation of men , competing with them for work and taking up a position among men , as we see in those societies which do not differentiate between males and females in their educational curricula and employment laws .
Whatever a woman's academic specialty is , she tries to understand it thoroughly and do her work perfectly , in accordance with the teaching of the Prophet (pbuh) :
for any of you , when he does something , to do it well . "
The Muslim woman does not let her household duties and the burdens of motherhood prevent her from reading widely , because she understands that reading is the source , which will supply her mind with nourishment , and knowledge , which it needs in order to flourish and grow .
The Muslim woman who understands that seeking knowledge is a duty required of her by her faith can never stop nourishing her mind with knowledge , no matter how busy she may be with housework or taking care of her children . She steals the odd moment , here and there , to sit down with a good book , or a useful magazine , so that she may broaden her horizons with some useful academic , social or literary knowledge , thus increasing her intellectual abilities .
The Muslim woman does not neglect to polish her soul through worship , dhikr , and reading Qur'an; she never neglects to perform acts of worship at the appointed times . Just as she takes care of her body and mind , she also takes care of her soul , as she understands that the human being is composed of a body , a mind and a soul , and that all three deserve appropriate attention . The balance he or she strikes among the body , mind and soul , so that none is cared for at the expense of another , may distinguish a person . Striking this balance guarantees the development of a sound ,
mature and moderate character .
The Muslim woman pays due attention to her soul and polishes it through worship , doing so with a pure and calm approach that will allow the spiritual meanings to penetrate deep into her being . She removes herself from the hustle and bustle of life and concentrates on her worship as much as she is able to . When she prays , she does so with calmness of heart and clearness of mind , so that the meaning of the words of the Qur�an , dhikr (remembrance) and tasbih (glorifying of Allah) that she is mentioning , may refresh her soul . Then she sits alone for a little while , praising and glorifying Allah , and reciting some Ayat (verses) from His Book , and meditating upon the beautiful meanings of the words she is reciting . She checks her attitude and behaviour every now and then , correcting herself if she has done anything wrong or fallen short in some way . Thus her worship will bring about the desired results of purity of soul , cleansing her of her sins , and freeing her from the bonds of Shaytan (Satan) whose constant whispering may destroy a person . If she makes a mistake or stumbles from the Straight Path , the true Muslim woman soon puts it right , seeks forgiveness from Allah , renounces her sin or error , and repents sincerely . This is the attitude of righteous , Allah - fearing Muslim women
Surely those who guard (against evil) , when a visitation from the Shaitan afflicts them they become mindful , then lo! They see) . Qur'an , 7/201
Therefore , the Prophet (pbuh) used to tell his Companions : "Renew your faith . " He was asked , "O Messenger of Allah , how do we renew our faith?" He said , "By frequently repeating la ilaha illallah (there is no god but Allah) . "46
The Muslim woman always seeks the help of Allah in strengthening and purifying her soul by constantly worshipping and remembering Allah , checking herself , and keeping in mind at all times what will please Allah . So whatever pleases Him , she does , and what angers Him , she refrains from . Thus she will remain on the Straight Path , never deviating from it or doing wrong .
In order to attain this high status , the Muslim woman chooses righteous , Allah - fearing friends , who will be true friends and offer sincere advice , and will not betray her in word or deed . Good friends have a great influence in keeping a Muslim woman on the Straight Path , and helping her to develop good habits and refined characteristics . A good friend - in most cases - mirrors one's behaviour and attitudes :
"Do not ask about a man : ask about his friends , for every friend follows his friends . "
"By mixing with noble people you become one of them; so you should
never regard anyone else as a friend . "
The Muslim woman is keen to attend gatherings where there is discussion of Islam and the greatness of its teachings regarding the individual , family and society , and where those present think of the power of Almighty Allah and His bountiful blessings to His creation , and encourage one another to obey His commandments , heed His prohibitions and seek refuge with Him . In such gatherings , hearts are softened , souls are purified , and a person's whole being is filled with the joy of faith .
So the Muslim woman is required to choose with care the best friends and attend the best gatherings , so that she will be in an environment that will increase her faith and Taqwa (piety : (
And keep your soul content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening , seeking His Face; and let not your eyes pass beyond them , seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life; nor obey any whose heart We have permitted to neglect the remembrance of Us , one who follows his own desires , whose case has gone beyond all bounds . ? (Qur'an 18 : 28)
Islam has excused women from the obligation to attend the Jama`ah prayer in the mosque , but at the same time , they are permitted to go out of the house to attend Jama`ah on condition that they dress up well enough not to cause any temptation . Indeed , the
first Muslim women did go out and pray in the mosque behind the Prophet (pbuh . (
The Prophet (pbuh) used to shorten his prayer if he heard a child crying; because he understood the concern the child's mother would be feeling . In a hadith whose authenticity is agreed upon he (pbuh) said :
"I begin the prayer , intending to make it lengthy , but then I hear a child crying , so I shorten my prayer because I know the stress facing the mother because of his crying . "
Allah showed great mercy to women by sparing them the obligation to offer the five compulsory prayers in congregation in the mosque . If He had made this obligatory , it would have placed an intolerable burden on women , and they would not have been able to fulfil it , just as we see many men failing to pray regularly in the mosque and finding themselves with no other choice but to pray wherever they are , in the workplace or in the home . The woman's heavy burden of household chores and attending to the needs of her husband and children do not permit her to leave the house five times a day; it would be impossible for her to do so . Thus the wisdom behind the limiting of compulsory attendance at the mosque to men only becomes quite clear . Her prayer at home is described as being better for her than her prayer in the mosque , but Allah gives
her the freedom of choice : she may pray at home if she wishes , or she may go out to pray in the mosque . If she asks her husband for permission to go out to the mosque , he is not allowed to stop her , as the Prophet (pbuh) stated in a number of hadiths , for example :
"Do not stop your women from going to the mosque , although their houses are better for them . "
"If the wife of any of you asks for permission to go to the mosque , do not stop her . "
The mosque was , and still is , the centre of light and guidance for Muslim men and women; in its pure environment acts of worship are performed and from its minbar messages of truth and guidance are transmitted . From the dawn of Islam , the Muslim woman has had her role to play in the mosque .
But women's going out to the mosque should not be a cause of fitnah (temptation) , and women should behave in accordance with Islamic teachings of purity of thought and behaviour . If for any reason there is the fear of fitnah associated with women's going out to the mosque , then it is better for women to pray at home , and they should do so . The Prophet (pbuh) said :
"Do not stop your women from going to the mosque , although their houses are better for them . "
"Do not prevent the female
servants of Allah from attending the mosques of Allah . �
Numerous other Hadiths also forbid women to use perfume when they go to the mosque , for example :
"If any of you (women) goes to the mosque , she should not use perfume . "
The Muslim woman pays zakat on her wealth , if she is wealthy enough to be liable for zakat . Every year at a specified time , she calculates how much she owns and pays what she has to , because zakat is a pillar of Islam , and there can be no compromise or excuse when it comes to paying it every year , even if the amount comes to thousands or millions . It would never occur to the true Muslim woman to try to avoid paying some of the zakat that she is obliged to pay .
Zakat is a clearly defined financial obligation and act of worship , which Allah has enjoined upon every Muslim , man or women , who owns the minimum amount (nisab) or more . Withholding zakat , or denying that it is obligatory , is tantamount to apostasy (riddah) and kufr (disbelief) , for which a person may be fought and even killed , until or unless he pays in full as required by Islam .
It is clear to the true Muslim woman that Islam - although it has given her right to financial independence , and has not obliged her to support herself or others , which is , rather ,
the duty of men - has indeed enjoined zakat on her , and has made zakat a right to which the poor are entitled . So the Muslim woman would not hesitate to pay it in the ways prescribed by Shari`ah . She cannot claim to be excused because she is a woman and no woman is obliged to spend on others . Any woman who makes such a claim has a poor understanding of Islam , her faith is weak and there is some fault in her personality . Or else she is a woman , who appears to be religious , but she is ignorant and negligent , or is stingy and she loves money , and it would never occur to her to pay zakat even though she fasts , prays and performs Hajj , and occasionally gives a small charitable donation from her great wealth . These types of women - ignorant or stingy - are nothing like the true Muslim woman as envisaged by Islam .
The Muslim woman wears correct hijab when she goes out of her house . Hijab is the distinctive Islamic dress whose features have been clearly defined by the Qur'an and Sunnah . She does not go out of the house , or appear before non - mahram men , using perfume , make - up or other fineries , because she knows that this is haram (impermissible) according to the Qur'an :
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and
guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what [must ordinarily] appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands , their fathers , their husbands' fathers , their sons , their husbands' sons , their brothers or their brothers' sons , or their sisters' sons , or their women , or the slaves whom their right hands possess , or male servants free of physical needs , or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments . And O you Believers! Turn all together towards Allah , that you may attain Bliss . ? (Qur'an 24 : 31)
The Muslim woman , therefore , is not one of those dressed - but - naked women who abound in societies which have deviated from the guidance of Allah . She would tremble with fear at the terrifying picture which the Prophet (pbuh) draw of those painted and adorned temptresses who have gone astray :
"There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen : people with whips like the tails of oxen , with which they beat the people , and women who are dressed yet still appear naked , who are inclined to evil and make their husbands incline towards it also . Their heads are like the humps of camels , leaning to one
side . They will not enter Paradise , or even smell its scent , although its scent can be discerned from such - and - such a distance . "
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by her faith and has received a sound Islamic education does not wear hijab just because it is a custom or tradition inherited from her mother or grandmother , as some foolish men and women try to describe it with no evidence or logic whatsoever . The Muslim woman wears hijab on the basis of her belief that it is a command from Allah , revealed to protect the Muslim woman , to make her character distinct , and to keep her away from the slippery slope of immorality and error . So she accepts it willingly and with strong conviction , as the women of the Muhajirin and Ansar accepted it on the day when Allah revealed His clear and wise command .
Proper dress for women was not something novel introduced by Islam; it existed in all the laws of Allah revealed before Islam . This can be seen in what remains of those laws in the altered books (i . e . the Bible) . We also see it in the modest dress of the Christian nuns who live in the Islamic world and also in the West , and in the fact that the women of the people of the Book cover their heads when they enter their churches . The modern rejection of the
idea that women should be covered and modest goes against all divine laws , from the time of Ibrahim , Musa and `Isa (pbuh) , until the hanifi way brought by Islam . This attitude is an attempt to escape the decree of Allah , which Allah has sent to mankind throughout the ages , brought time after time by His Messengers to guide mankind to truth and righteousness , so that they would become one nation , worshipping and obeying one Lord :
Mankind was but one nation , but differed [later] . Had it not been for a Word that went forth before from your Lord , their differences would have been settled between them . ? (Qur'an 10 : 19)
O messengers , eat of the good things and do good; surely I know what you do . And surely this your religion is one religion and I am your Lord , therefore be careful (of your duty) to Me) . (Qur'an 23 : 51 - 52)
The determination of many modern societies that women should be uncovered , living naked and immoral lives , is an indication of how far they have deviated from the guidance of Allah , not only in the Muslim lands , but in all countries of the world . The Westerners may not care about this , and may go ahead and invent more means of immorality without finding any deterrent in their corrupted books , but the Muslims who worship Allah by reciting His perfectly preserved Book night
and day will never accept such deviance , no matter how negligent and weak they are in their practice of Islam , because they constantly hear the definitive words of the Qur'an and Sunnah warning those who disobey Allah and His Messenger of the test in this life and the severe punishment to come in the Hereafter :
. . . Let those beware who withstand the Messenger's order , lest some trial befall them , or a grievous Penalty be inflicted on them . ? (Qur'an 24 : 63(
The true Muslim woman avoids mixing with men as much as possible; she does not pursue it or encourage it . Thus she follows the example of Fatima , the daughter of the Prophet (pbuh) , the Prophet's wives , and those who followed their way sincerely .
The harm that may be done to both sexes as a result of free mixing , that is obvious to the Muslim woman , is now becoming clear to Westerners who have practiced free mixing on the widest scale . They have seen that it leads to a fall in standards of education , so they have now begun to segregate male and female students in some universities and institutes of education . A number of the greatest Muslim educators , who have visited Europe , America and Russia , have witnessed this segregation , for example , Professor Ahmad Mazhar al - `Azmah , who was sent by the Syrian Ministry of Education to Belgium , where he
visited a number of schools . On a visit to a girls' elementary school , he asked the principal , "Why do you not let boys and girls mix at this level of education?" She replied , "We noticed the harm that mixing can do to children even at the elementary level . "
There was news that Russia had reached a similar conclusion , and had established separate , segregated branches of universities , where male and female students did not mix .
In America , there are more than 170 university branches in which male and female students do not mix . They were set up because the educators and supervisors noticed the harm that was caused by mixing , even in a society that is used to mixing in every area of social life .
The evidence of the harm caused by mixing is too vast to be enumerated . All of it points to the wisdom of Islam in putting an end to mixing , and protecting the Muslim societies which adhere to Islamic guidance from its destructive , harmful effects .
The true Muslim woman always seeks to earn the pleasure of Allah in everything she does . So she measures everything against this precise standard , and will retain or discard any practice accordingly .
Whenever there is a conflict between what pleases Allah , and what pleases other people , she chooses what pleases Allah , with no hesitation or argument , even if it will anger other people . She does
this because she knows , with her deep understanding of Islam and her own common sense , that pleasing the people is a goal that can never be achieved , and it will only bring about the wrath of Allah . The Prophet (pbuh) said :
"Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah at the risk of displeasing the people; Allah will take care of him and protect him from them . But whoever seeks the pleasure of the people at the risk of displeasing Allah , Allah will abandon him to the care of the people . "
By weighing up her deeds in this precise fashion , the Straight Path will be clearly signposted for the Muslim woman . She will know what she is allowed to do and what she should avoid; her unfailing standard is the pleasure of Allah . Thus the life of the Muslim women will be free from ridiculous contradiction which has ensnared so many of those who have deviated from the guidance of Allah .
There are women whom one sees praying perfectly , but in many instances they follow their own desires and deviate from the right path . In social gatherings they involve themselves in gossip and backbiting , criticizing people , plotting against anybody they dislike , and putting words in their mouths so as to discredit them . These people are suffering from weakness of faith and a failure to understand the true reality of this holistic religion , which Allah revealed to guide mankind in all
aspects of life , both public and private , so that people might seek the pleasure of Allah by obeying His commands and emulating the behavior of the Prophet (pbuh) .
There are also women who obey Allah in some matters , but disobey Him in others , acting according to their own whims and desires . Such people are , as it were , half - Muslims , and the split personality of those who have deviated from the guidance of Islam is one of the most dangerous psychological and spiritual disorders facing modern man .
The Muslim woman who understands her religion reads the ayah :
And (as for) the believing men and the believing women , they are guardians of each other; they enjoin good and forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor - rate , and obey Allah and His Messenger; (as for) these , Allah will show mercy to them; surely Allah is Mighty , Wise) (Qur'an 9 : 71) - which Allah revealed fifteen hundred years ago , and she finds herself on the highest level of intellectual and social status that any woman of any nation or race has ever known . Islam has stated that women are fully human , and are legally competent and independent . There is no difference between women and men when it comes to owning property , buying or selling , or arranging a marriage . This is something , which had never previously been the case in any nation ,
where women were seen as possessions of men , under their tutelage and command . This ayah , ? the believing men and the believing women , they are guardians of each other . . . ? raises women to the level of loyalty and friendship with men , and makes them partners in the work of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil . Women are responsible for fulfilling this duty on equal terms with men , as both are charged with the duty of populating and cultivating the earth , and worshipping Allah therein .
Thus Islam rescued women from their position of being mere chattels of men , which in most cases had given men control over their life and death , and raised them to the level of equality and humanity .
When Islam gave woman the duty of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil , it gave her the status of a human being who , for the first time in history , was giving orders whereas under other systems she was the one to whom orders were always given .
Islam declared that in the sight of Allah , both sexes were equally qualified to worship Him , and were equally deserving of His mercy . There is a great deal of proof of this in the Qur'an and Sunnah .
Our history is full of women whose words and deeds reflect their noble Islamic character . They spoke the truth , and felt that they had a
responsibility before Allah to do so , and were never afraid to do so .
One of the main distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim woman is her respectful and kind treatment to her parents . Islam encourages respect towards and kind treatment of parents in many definitive texts of the Qur'an and Sunnah; any Muslim woman who reads these texts has no choice but to adhere to their teachings and treat her parents with kindness and respect , no matter what the circumstances or the state of the relationship between daughter and parents are .
From her reading of the Qur'an , the Muslim woman understands the high status to which Allah has raised parents , and that it is a status which mankind has never known except in Islam , which has placed respect for parents just one step below belief in Allah and true worship of Him . Many Ayat of the Qur'an describe pleasing one's parents as coming second only to pleasing Allah , and confirm that treating parents well is the best of good deeds after having faith in Allah .
Serve Allah , and join not any partners with Him; and do good , to parents � (Qur'an 4 : 36)
So the Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of her religion is kinder and more respectful towards her parents than any other woman in the world; this does not stop when she leaves the home to marry and start her own family , and has her own , independent , busy life . Her respect and kindness towards her parents are ongoing and will
remain an important part of her behaviour until the end of her life , in accordance with the Qur'anic teaching which has enjoined kind treatment of parents for life , especially when they reach old age and become incapacitated and are most in need of kind words and good care :
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him , and that you be kind to parents . Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life , say not to them a word of contempt , nor repel them , but address them in terms of honour . And , out of kindness , lower to them the wing of humility , and say , `My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they brought me up (when I was) little . '? (Qur'an 17 : 23 - 24)
The Muslim woman whose heart has been illuminated with the light of Qur'anic guidance is always receptive and responsive to this divine instruction , which she reads in the ayat that enjoin good treatment of parents . So her kindness and respect towards them will increase , and she will be even more devoted to serving them . She will do her utmost to please them , even if she has a husband , house , children and other responsibilities of her own :
Serve Allah , and join not any partners with Him; and do good to parents . . . ? (Qur'an 4 : 36)
We have enjoined on man kindness to
parents� (Qur'an 29 : 8)
Anyone who looks into the Islamic sources regarding the kind treatment of parents will also find plenty of Hadith that reinforce the message of the ayat quoted above and reiterate the virtue of kindness and respect towards one's parents , as well as warning against disobedience or mistreatment of them for any reason whatsoever .
The duty to treat one's parents with kindness and respect sunk into the consciousness of the Muslims , so they hastened to treat their parents well both during their lives and after their deaths . There are many reports and Hadith that indicate this , for example the report that describes how a woman of Juhaynah came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said : "My mother made a vow (nadhr) to perform Hajj but she did not perform Hajj before she died . May I perform Hajj on her behalf?" He said , "Yes , go and perform Hajj on her behalf . If you knew that your mother had a debt , would you not pay it off for her? Pay off what is due to Allah , for Allah has more right to be paid off . "
Just as the Muslim woman hastens to treat her parents with kindness and respect , she is also afraid to commit the sin of disobeying them , because she realizes the enormity of this sin , which is counted as one of the major sins (al - kaba'ir) . She is aware of the frightening picture that
Islam paints of the one who disobeys her parents , and this stirs her conscience and softens any hardness of heart or harsh feelings that she might be harboring .
Islam draws a comparison between disobedience towards one's parents and the crime of associating partners with Allah , just as it establishes a link between true faith in Allah and respectful treatment of parents . Disobedience to one's parents is a heinous crime , which the true Muslim woman is loath to commit , for it is the greatest of major sins and the worst of errors .
Islam has encouraged respect and kindness towards parents . Some texts deal with the mother and father separately , but taken all together , the texts enjoin a healthy balance in children's attention to their parents , so that respect to one parent will not be at the expense of the other . Some texts further confirm that the mother should be given precedence over the father .
So , as we have seen , when a man came to give bay`ah (homage) and pledge to take part in jihad , the Prophet (pbuh) asked him , "Are either of your parents alive?" This indicates that the Muslim is obliged to treat both parents equally well . Similarly , Asma' was ordered to keep in contact with her mushrik mother .
The Qur'an evokes feelings of love and respect in the heart of the child , and encourages him or her to treat parents well . It refers to the
mother being given precedence because of pregnancy and breast - feeding , and the pains and trials that she suffers during these two stages , in a most gentle and compassionate way . It recognizes her noble sacrifice and great tenderness and care :
?And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents; his mother bears him with weakness upon weakness and his weaning takes two years , saying : Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming) (Qur'an 31 : 14)
What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother , so that the Prophet (pbuh) recommended his Sahabah (companions) to seek him out and ask him to proffer them!
All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood , and given the mother precedence over the father . At the same time , Islam has given importance to both parents , and has enjoined kindness and respect to both .
The Muslim woman never forgets that the mother's responsibility in bringing up the children and forming their characters is greater than that of the father , because children tend to be closer to their mother and spend more time with her; she knows all about their behavioural , emotional and intellectual development during their childhood and the difficult years of adolescence .
Hence the woman who understands the teachings of Islam and her own educational role in life , knows her complete responsibility for the
upbringing of her children , as is referred to in the Qur'an :
O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones . . . ? (Qur'an 66 : 6)
The Prophet (pbuh) also referred to this responsibility in his hadith :
"Each of you is a guardian and each of you is responsible for his charge . The leader is a guardian and is responsible for his charge; a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for his charge; a woman is the guardian in the house of her husband and is responsible for her charge; a servant is the guardian of his master's wealth and is responsible for it . Each of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charge . "
Islam places responsibility on the shoulders of every individual; not one person is left out . Parents - especially mothers - are made responsible for providing their children with a solid upbringing and sound Islamic education , based on the noble characteristics that the Prophet (pbuh) declared that he had been sent to complete and spread among people :
"I have only been sent to make righteous behavior complete . "
Nothing is more indicative of the greatness of the parents' responsibility towards their children and their duty to give them a suitable Islamic upbringing than the verdict of the `ulama' that every family should heed the words of the Prophet (pbuh : (
"Instruct your children to pray when they are seven and
hit them if they do not do so when they are ten . "
Any parents who are aware of this hadith but do not teach their children to pray when they reach seven or hit them if they do not do so when they reach ten , are parents who are sinners and failing in their duty; they will be responsible before Allah for their failure .
The family home is a microcosm of society in which the children's mentality , intellect , attitudes and inclinations are formed when they are still very small and are ready to receive sound words of guidance . Hence the parents' important role in forming the minds of their sons and daughters and directing them towards truth and good deeds is quite clear .
Muslim women have always understood their responsibility in raising their children , and they have a brilliant record in producing and influencing great men , and instilling noble values in their hearts . There is no greater proof of that than the fact that intelligent and brilliant women have produced more noble sons than have intelligent and brilliant men , so much so that you can hardly find any among the great men of our ummah who have controlled the course of events in history who is not indebted to his mother .
`Ali ibn Abi Talib (pbuh) received wisdom , virtue and good character from his distinguished mother , Fatimah bint Asad .
The intelligent Muslim woman understands the psychology of her children , and is aware
of their differences in attitudes and inclination . She tries to penetrate their innocent world and plant the seeds of noble values and worthy characteristics , using the best and most effective methods of parenting .
The mother is naturally close to her children , and she endears herself to them so that they will be open with her and will share their thoughts and feelings with her . She hastens to correct them and refine their thoughts and feelings , taking into account each child's age and mental level . She plays and jokes with them sometimes , complimenting them and letting them hear words of love , affection , compassion and self - denial . Thus their love for her increases , and they will accept her words of guidance and correction eagerly . They will obey her out of love for her , for there is a great difference between sincere obedience that comes from the heart , which is based on love , respect and trust , and insincere obedience that is based on oppression , violence and force . The former is lasting obedience , strong and fruitful , whilst the latter is shallow and baseless , and will quickly vanish when the violence and cruelty reach extreme levels .
The wise Muslim woman treats all her children fairly and equally . She does not prefer one of them to another in any way , because she knows that Islam forbids such actions on the part of the parents , and
because of the negative psychological impact that this may have over the child whose sibling is preferred to him . The child who feels that he is not treated equally with his brothers and sisters will grow up with complexes and anxiety , eating his heart out with jealousy and hatred . In contrast , the child who grows up feeling that he and his siblings are treated equally will grow up healthy and free from jealousy and hatred; he will be content , cheerful , tolerant and willing to put others before himself .
So the Muslim woman who truly fears Allah treats all her children with equal fairness , and does not favour one above the other in giving gifts , spending money on them , or in the way she treats them . Then all of them will love her , will pray for her and will treat her with kindness and respect .
The smart Muslim mother keeps her eyes open as far as her children are concerned . She knows what they are reading and writing , the hobbies and activities they pursue , the friends they have chosen , and the places they go to in their free time . She knows all of this without her children feeling that she is watching them . If she finds anything objectionable in their hobbies , reading - materials , etc . , or if she sees them hanging around with undesirable friends , or going to unsuitable places , or taking
up bad habits such as smoking , or wasting time and energy on haram (impermissible) games that teach them to get used to trivialities , she hastens to correct her children in a gentle and wise manner , and persuades them to return to the straight and narrow . The mother is more able to do this than the father , because she spends much more time with the children , and they are more likely to open up and share their thoughts and feelings with her than with their father . Hence it is quite clear that the mother has a great responsibility to bring up her children properly and form their characters in a sound fashion , in accordance with Islamic principles , values and traditions .
Every child is born in a state of fitrah (the natural , good , disposition of mankind) , and it is the parents who make him into a Jew , a Christian or a Magian , as the Prophet (pbuh) said in the sahih (true) hadith narrated by al - Bukhari .
There is no secret about the enormous impact the parents have on the personality and psychological development of their child from the earliest years until the child attains the age of reason .
The books that children read should open their minds and form their personalities well , giving them the highest examples to follow; they should not corrupt their minds and extinguish the light of goodness in their souls .
Hobbies should help to develop the positive
aspects of a child's nature and reinforce good tastes , not encourage any negative tendencies .
Friends should be of the type that will lead one to Paradise , not to Hell; they should influence a child in a positive way and encourage him to do well , to strive to improve himself and to succeed , not drag him down into sin , disobedience and failure . How many people that their friends have brought them to the slippery slope of destruction and perdition , whilst their mothers and fathers were unaware of what happened to their own children! How wise are the words of the poet `Adiyy ibn Zayd al - `Ibadi concerning friends :
"If you are among people , then make friends with the best of them .
Do not make friends with the worst of them lest you become as bad as he is .
Do not ask about the man , but ask about his friends , for every person is influenced by his friends . "22
The true Muslim mother takes notice of her children's books , magazines , hobbies , school , teachers , clubs , media interests , and everything that may have an impact on their personalities , minds , souls and faith . She intervenes when necessary , either to encourage or to put a stop to something , so that the children's upbringing will not be affected by corruption or sickness .
Successful upbringing of children depends on a mother who is alert and intelligent , and who understands
her responsibility towards her children , so that she does a good job and raises children who will be a boon to their parents and society in general . Families that fail to raise their children properly usually do so because the mother does not understand her responsibility towards her children , so she neglects them and they become a source of evil and a torment to their parents and others .
Children would not become a source of evil if their parents , especially the mother , knew their responsibility and took it seriously .
Women are shy by nature , and what I mean here by shyness is the same as the definition of the `ulama' : the noble attitude that always motivates a person to keep away from what is abhorrent and to avoid falling short in one's duties towards those who have rights over one . The Prophet (pbuh) was the highest example of shyness :
"The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) was shyer than the virgin hiding away in her own room . If he saw something he disliked , we would know it only from his facial expression . "
The Prophet (pbuh) praised the attitude of shyness in a number of ahadith (traditions) , and explained that it is pure goodness , both for the one who possesses this virtue and for the society in which he lives .
The true Muslim woman is shy , polite , gentle and sensitive to the feelings of others . She never says or does anything
that may harm people or offend their dignity .
The attitude of shyness that is deeply rooted in her nature is supported by her understanding of the Islamic concept of shyness , which protects her against going wrong or deviating from Islamic teachings in her dealings with others . She does not only feel shy in front of people , but she also feels shy before Allah . She is careful not to let her faith fail by wrongdoing , because shyness is one of the branches of faith . This is the highest level that may be reached by the woman who is characterized by shyness . In this way she is distinguished from the Western woman who has lost the characteristic of shyness .
One of the features that distinguish the Muslim woman who has truly understood the guidance of Islam is the fact that she is proud and does not beg . If she is faced with difficulties or is afflicted with poverty , she seeks refuge in patience and self - pride , whilst redoubling her efforts to find a way out of the crisis of poverty that has befallen her . It never occurs to her to put herself in the position of begging and asking for help , because Islam thinks too highly of the true Muslim woman to allow her to put herself in such a position . The Muslim woman is urged to be proud , independent and patient - then Allah will help her and give her
independence and patience :
"Whoever refrains from asking from people , Allah will help him . Whoever tries to be independent , Allah will enrich him . Whoever tries to be patient , Allah will give him patience , and no one is given a better or vaster gift than patience . "
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam knows that Islam has given the poor some rights over the wealth of the rich , who should give freely without reminders or insults . But at the same time , Islam wants the poor to be independent and not to rely on this right . The higher hand is better than the lower hand , so all Muslims , men and women , should always work so that their hand will not be the lower one . That is more befitting and more honouring to them . So those men and women who have little should increase their efforts and not be dependent on charity and handouts . This will save them from losing face . Whenever he spoke from above the minbar about charity and refraining from begging , the Prophet (pbuh) would remind the Muslims "the higher hand is better than the lower , the higher hand is the one that spends , whilst the lower hand is the one that begs . "
It is in the nature of women to be gentle and kind , which is more befitting to them . This is why women are known as the
"fairer sex . "
The Muslim woman who has truly been guided by Islam is even more kind and gentle towards the women around her , because gentleness and kindness are characteristics which Allah loves in His believing servants and which make the one who possesses them dear to others :
And not alike are the good and the evil . Repel (evil) with what is best , when lo! he between whom and you was enmity would be as if he were a warm friend . And none are made to receive it but those who are patient , and none are made to receive it but those who have a mighty good fortune) . (Qur'an 41 : 34 - 35)
Many ayat and ahadith reinforce the message that gentleness and kindness are to be encouraged and that they are noble virtues that should prevail in the Muslim community and characterize every Muslim member of that community who truly understands the guidance of Islam . It is sufficient for the Muslim woman to know that kindness is one of the attributes of Allah that He has encouraged His servants to adopt in all their affairs .
"Allah is Kind and He loves kindness in all affairs . "
Kindness is a tremendous virtue which Allah rewards in a way unlike any other :
"Allah is kind and He loves kindness , and He rewards it in a way that He does not reward harshness , and in a way unlike any other . "
The Prophet (pbuh) praised kindness , regarding
it as an adornment that beautifies and encouraging others to adopt this trait :
"There is no kindness in a thing but it makes it beautiful , and there is no absence of kindness in a thing but it makes it repugnant . "
The Prophet (pbuh) taught the Muslims to be kind in their dealings with people , and to behave in an exemplary manner as befits the Muslim who is calling people to the religion of Allah , the Kind and Merciful , no matter how provocative the situation is .
Kindness , gentleness and tolerance , not harshness , aggression and rebukes , are what open people's hearts to the message of truth . The Prophet (pbuh) used to advise the Muslims :
"Be cheerful , not threatening , and make things easy , not difficult . "
People are naturally put off by rudeness and harshness , but they are attracted by kindness and gentleness . Hence Allah said to His Prophet (pbuh : (
. . . and had you been rough , hard hearted , they would certainly have dispersed from around you) . (Qur'an 3 : 159)
This is an eternal declaration that applies to every woman who seeks to call other women to Islam . She has to find a good way to reach their hearts , for which purpose she utilizes every means of kindness , gentleness and tact at her disposal . If she encounters any hostility or resistance , then no doubt a kind word will reach their hearts and have
the desired effect on the hearts of the women she addresses . This is what Allah told His Prophet Musa (Moses) (pbuh) and his brother Harun (Aaron) when He sent them to Pharaoh :
Go , both of you , to Pharaoh , for he has indeed transgressed all bounds; but speak to him mildly; perchance he may take warning or fear [Allah] . ? (Qur'an : 43 - 44)
Not surprisingly , kindness , according to Islam , is all goodness . Whoever attains it has been given all goodness , and whoever has been denied it has been denied all goodness . We see this in the hadith narrated by Jarir ibn `Abdullah , who said :
"I heard the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) say : `Whoever has denied kindness has denied all goodness . '"
Jabir said :
"The Prophet (pbuh) said : `If Allah wills some good to a people , He instils kindness in them . '"
What greater goodness can there be than a characteristic that will protect a man from Hell? As the Prophet (pbuh) said in another hadith :
"Shall I not tell you who shall be forbidden from the Fire , or from whom the Fire will be forbidden? It will be forbidden for every gentle , soft - hearted and kind person . "
The teachings of the Prophet (pbuh) take man a step further , by instilling in him the attitude of kindness and requiring him to be kind even to the animals he slaughters . This is counted as one of
the highest levels that the pious and righteous may reach :
"Allah has prescribed proficiency in all things . Thus if you kill , kill well , and if you slaughter , slaughter well . Let each one of you sharpen his blade and let him spare suffering to the animal he slaughters . "
Kindness to dumb animals that are to be slaughtered is indicative of the kindness of the man who slaughters them , and of his mercy towards all living creatures . The more a person understands this and treats all living creatures well , the more kind and gentle a person is . This is the ultimate goal towards which Islam is guiding the Muslim , so that he is kind even to animals .
The true Muslim woman can imagine the comprehensiveness of the Islamic teachings enjoining kindness upon the sons of Adam , when even animals are included .
The Muslim woman is keen to be like by others , through her good deeds and through the positive effect she has on them , as well as by having a good reputation in society .
People's love for her is a sign that Allah loves her too , because in this case He opens people's hearts to her and makes her accepted and well - liked by everyone she meets or she hear about her . Concerning this , the Prophet (pbuh) said :
"When Allah loves a person , he calls Gabriel and says : `I love So - and - so ,
so love him . ' So Gabriel will love him , and will call out in the heavens : `Allah loves So - and - so , so love him . ' Then the people of heaven will love him , and he will be well - accepted on the earth . If Allah hates a person , he calls Gabriel and says : `I hate So - and - so , so hate him . , So Gabriel will hate him , and will call out in the heavens : `Allah hates So - and - so , so hate him . ' Then the people of the heaven will hate him , and he will be despised on the earth . "
This is the unseen , reason why some Muslim men and women enjoy the love of others towards them . It is the love of Allah which He has spread among the people of heaven and earth , and makes those fortunate people will be accepted on earth , or else His hatred causes them to be despised on earth .
No - one can earn the love of Allah except the one who turns to Him seeking His pleasure , and no - one earns His hatred except the one who turns away from His guidance and disobeys Him .
It is obvious to the mature , wise Muslim woman that keeping secrets is one of the best characteristics that a person , man or woman , can have . Keeping secrets
is a sign of a person's maturity , moral strength , wisdom and balanced personality . Therefore the true Muslim woman keeps those secrets that Islam urges her to keep . This was the attitude of the best personalities of Islam , and was one of their most beautiful characteristics .
Telling secrets is one of the worst habits a person could have , and the worst form of this habit is disclosing secrets that relate to the intimacies of married life . A person who is afflicted with this abhorrent habit will be among the worst people on the Day of Judgement , as the Prophet (pbuh) explained :
"The most evil of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who was intimate with his wife , then went and told others about her secrets . "
Private matters should remain utterly secret , known only to those concerned . No one broadcasts his private matters except the person who is somewhat crazy , stupid and unsound , and whose attitude is dirty , cheap and shameless . Muslim men and women are protected from such folly by the noble characteristics that they have learned from their religion .
It is clear to the Muslim woman that one of the most important factors in her success both in her private life with her husband and in her social life in general , is that she should be of cheerful countenance , smiling often and overflowing with warmth . Allah
of this will endear her to people and open their hearts to her . It is also the good attitude , positive personality and physical attractiveness encouraged by Islam .
The Muslim woman who is cheerful and who smiles a lot brings joy to her husband's heart , which increases his love and respect for her . This is also the attitude which she brings to the social circle of women with whom she mixes; nothing spreads love and affection in a community like a smiling face and a happy and content soul . These are characteristics which are most befitting to the gentle , polite Muslim woman who seeks to call others to Islam , because it is through these attitudes that she will be able to reach people's hearts .
The true Muslim woman is lighthearted and has a sense of humour; she is kind in her treatment with others and gentle in her speech . She does not disdain to joke with her sisters and friends on appropriate occasions . But the Muslim woman's jokes are distinguished by their legitimate Islamic nature , and never sink to the level of being cheap , dirty or stupid .
The Prophet (pbuh) used to joke with his Companions , but his jokes never went beyond the bounds of truth . It was narrated that the Sahabah said to the Prophet (pbuh) : "You joke with us . " He said , "But I never say anything except the truth . "
An old woman came to the
Prophet (pbuh) and said , "O Messenger of Allah , pray to Allah that I will enter Paradise . " He said jokingly , "O Mother of So - and - so , no old women will enter Paradise . " The old woman went away crying , so the Prophet (pbuh) said : "Tell her that she will not enter Paradise as an old woman , for Allah says : `Surely We have made them to grow into a (new) growth . Then We have made them virgins) . (Qur'an 56 : 35 - 36) . "
The Muslim woman is keen , in her conversations with other women , to bring happiness to them and make them feel cheerful and lively by means of the good news and pleasant jokes that she tells them . Making people happy , within the framework of that which is permitted , is an Islamic duty that is strongly encouraged , so that the environment of the believers , men and women , may be filled with friendliness , happiness and joy , ready to undertake serious work and the sacrifices and difficulties that it entails .
For this reason Islam tells us that the reward of one who makes Muslims happy will be the greater happiness that Allah will bestow upon him on the Day of Resurrection :
"Whoever meets his Muslim brother and makes him happy with something that Allah likes , Allah will make him happy on the Day of Resurrection . "
The clever Muslim woman
will find different ways to make her sisters happy in ways that are permitted - a warm greeting , a kind word , a clever comment , a pleasant joke , good news , a friendly smile , a sincerely - meant visit , a charming gift , always keeping in touch , sincere help , comforting consolation - which will open their hearts , sow the seeds of love and strengthen the ties of friendship and sisterhood .
It comes as no surprise that the Muslim woman who understands anything of the teachings of Islam should be humble and modest , gentle , tolerant and kind in her dealings with others . She finds hadith which complement those that warn men and women against arrogance , texts that encourage modesty and humility , promising everyone who humbles himself for the sake of Allah that he or she will be raised in status , as the Prophet (pbuh) said :
"No one is humble for the sake of Allah , but Allah will raise him in status . "
"Allah told me that you should be so humble towards one another that no one should boast to anyone else and no one should oppress anyone . "
The Muslim woman who studies the life of the Prophet (pbuh) will find in his sublime character a unique , living example of modesty , humility , gentleness , genuineness , noble attitudes and tolerance . Whenever he passed a group of boys playing , he would stop and greet them
, joking naturally with them . His high status as Prophet and leader of the ummah did not prevent him from being spontaneous and natural with others .
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam adheres to the principle of modesty in all things , and especially in the way she dresses and looks . She is keen to look good , but without any extravagance , excess or conceit . She does not blindly follow those who throw aside new clothes after wearing them only once and exhaust themselves trying to keep up with the latest fashion , which is forever changing , as is the habit of some foolish , ignorant women who have nothing better to do . On the other hand , she does not neglect her clothes or appearance , and she tries to look good in moderation .
She abides by the limits of moderation set out in the Qur'an , which describes moderation as one of the qualities of the believing servants of Allah , men and women alike :
Those who , when they spend , are not extravagant and not niggardly , but hold a just [balance] between those [extremes] . ?(Qur'an , 25 : 67)
The Muslim woman is careful not to fall victim to the enslavement of fashion and those behind it , who are people who have no fear of Allah and do not have the best interests of women - especially Muslim women - at heart . She is careful to avoid this
enslavement which the Prophet (pbuh) warned against and told us that it is a source of great misery :
"Wretched is the slave of the dinar , dirham and fancy clothes of velvet and silk! If he is given , he is pleased , and if he is not given , he is displeased . "
The Muslim woman is protected by the teachings of Islam from falling into the error of arrogance or conceit regarding her appearance , and other deeds which may lead to a person's downfall , as the Prophet (pbuh) said :
"There was a man who walked with pride because of his fine cloak and because he was pleased with himself . Allah caused him to sink in the earth , and he will go on sinking into it until the Day of Resurrection . "
The Muslim woman uses means of adornment that are within the limits of what is permitted by Islam . She wears elegant , expensive clothes , which are among the good things permitted by Allah , without going to extremes of excess . This is the moderation advocated and encouraged by Islam , and there is a huge difference between the wise , moderate woman , and the foolish , empty - headed woman who goes to extremes .
The Muslim woman avoids both extremes with regard to her dress and appearance . She does not exaggerate or go to extreme limits of excess; neither does she neglect her clothes and appearance to the point of appearing to be
miserly or ascetic , thinking that this asceticism is a form of worship that will earn her the pleasure of Allah .
The woman who wears beautiful clothes to show off in front of her friends is a sinner , because Allah does not love every arrogant boaster . But the one , who wears beautiful clothes to display the bounty of Allah and seeking His help , is an obedient servant who will be rewarded .
The one who neglects her appearance out of stinginess enjoys no position of respect among people , and will have no reward from Allah . The one who neglects her appearance out of an attitude of other - worldliness , thinking that she is worshipping Allah by denying herself what is permitted , is also a sinner , as Ibn Taymiyah said . The essence of a woman's happiness in this world and the next is purposefulness , moderation and balance . This is the attitude of the Muslim woman who understands and adheres to the teachings of Islam . So her clothes are clean , beautiful , and neat and suited to the Muslim woman , demonstrating Allah's blessings to her without going to the extreme of showing off .
Islam has spared women the burden of having to work to earn a living , and has made it obligatory on her father , brother , husband or other male relative to support her . So the Muslim woman does not seek work outside the home unless there is
pressing financial need due to the lack of a relative or spouse to maintain her honourably , or her community needs her to work in a specialised area such as befits her feminine nature and will not compromise her honour or religion .
Islam has made it obligatory for a man to spend on his family , and has given him the responsibility of earning the costs of living , so that his wife may devote herself to being a wife and mother , creating a joyful and pleasant atmosphere in the home and organising and running its affairs .
This is the Islamic view of woman and the family , and this is the Islamic philosophy of marriage and family life .
The Western philosophy of women's role , the home , the family and children is based on the opposite of this . When a girl reaches a certain age - usually seventeen years old - neither her father , her brother , or any of her male relatives are obliged to support her . She has to look for work to support herself , and to save whatever she can to offer to her future husband . If she gets married , she has to help her husband with the expenses of the home and children . When she gets old , if she is still able to earn , she must continue to work to earn a living , even if her children are rich .
No doubt , the wise Muslim woman understands the
huge difference between the position of the Muslim woman and the position of women in the West . The Muslim woman is honoured , protected , and guaranteed a decent living; the Western woman works hard and is subjected to exhaustion and humiliation , especially when she reaches old age .
Since the end of the last century , Western thinkers have continually complained about the plight of Western women . They have warned their people about the impending collapse of Western civilization , due to women's going out to work , the disintegration of the family and the neglect of the children .
The French economic philosopher Jules Simon said : "Women have started to work in textile factories and printing presses , etc . . . The government is employing them in factories , where they may earn a few francs . But on the other hand , this has utterly destroyed the bases of family life . Yes , the husband may benefit from his wife's earnings , but apart from that , his earnings have decreased because now she is competing with him for work . "
He also commented : "There are other , higher - class women , who work as book - keepers or store - keepers , or who are employed by the government in the field of education . Many of them work for the telegraph service , the post office , the railways or the Bank of France , but these positions are taking them away from their
families completely . "
"A woman must remain a woman , because with this quality she can find happiness or bring it to others . Let us reform the position of women , but let us not change them . Let us beware of turning them into men , because that would make them lose much , and we would lose everything . Nature has done everything perfectly , so let us study it and try to improve it , and let us beware of anything that could take us away from its laws . "
The famous English writer Anna Ward said : "It is better for our daughters to work as servants in houses or like servants at home . This is better , and less disastrous than letting them work in factories , where a girl become dirty and her life is destroyed . I wish that our country was like the lands of the Muslims , where modesty , chastity and purity are like a garment . Servants and slaves there live the best life , where they are treated like the children of the house and no one harms their honour . Yes , it is a source of shame for England that we make our daughters examples of promiscuity by mixing so much with men . Why do we not try to pursue that which makes a girl do work that agrees with her natural temperament , by staying at home , and leaving men's work for the men , to
keep her honour safe . "
The Western woman envies the Muslim woman , and wishes that she could have some of the rights , honour , protection and stability that the Muslim woman enjoys . There are many proofs of this , some of which have been quoted above (see p 86 of orig . ) . Another example is the comment of an Italian student of law at Oxford University , after she had heard something of the rights of women in Islam and how Islam gave women all kinds of respect by sparing her the obligation to earn a living so that she may devote herself to caring for her husband and family . This Italian girl said : "I envy the Muslim woman , and wish that I had been born in your country . "
This reality sunk into the minds of the leaders of the women's movement in the Arab world , especially those who were reasonable and fair . Salma al - Haffar al - Kazbari , who visited Europe and America more than once , commented in the Damascus newspaper al - Ayyam (September 3 , 1962) , in response to Professor Shafiq Jabri's remarks on the misery of the American woman in his book Ard al - sihr (The land of magic) :
"The well - travelled scholar noted , for example , that the Americans teach their children from a very early age to love machines and heroism in their games . He also remarked that the women
have started to do men's work , in car factories and street - cleaning , and he felt sorry for the misery of the woman who spends her youth and her life doing something that does not suit her feminine nature and attitude . What Professor Jabri had to say made me feel happy , because I came back from my own trip to the United States five years ago , feeling sorry for the plight of women to which they have been drawn by the currents of blind equality . I felt sorry for their struggle to earn a living , for they have even lost their freedom , that absolute freedom for which they strived for so long . Now they have become prisoners of machines and of time . It is too difficult to go back now , and unfortunately it is true that women have lost the dearest and best things granted to them by nature , by which I mean their femininity , and their happiness . Continuous , exhausting work has caused them to lose the small paradise which is the natural refuge of men and women alike . Children cannot grow and flourish without the presence of a woman who stays at home with them . It is in the home and in the bosom of the family that the happiness of society and individuals rests; the family is the source of inspiration , goodness and genius . "
Throwing women into the battlefield of work , where they
must compete with men to take their place or share their positions , when there is no need to do so and the interests of society as a whole do not require it , is indeed a grave mistake . It is a great loss that nations and peoples suffer from at times of decline , tribulation and error . The Muslim woman who is guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah does not accept to be thrown into that battlefield , and she refuses to become some cheap commodity that is fought over by the greedy capitalists , or some gaudy doll whose company is enjoyed by immoral so - called men . She rejects , with fierce pride , that false "progress" that calls for women to come out uncovered , almost naked and adorned with make up , to work alongside men in offices . With this wise , balanced , honourable attitude , she is in fact doing a great service to her society and nation , by calling for an end to this ridiculous competition of women with men in the workplace , and the resulting corruption , neglect of the family , and waste of money . This is the best good deed a woman can do , as was reflected by the comments of the ruler of North Korea to the Women's Union conference held in his country in 1981 :
"We make women enter society , but the reason for that is definitely not a lack of workers .
Frankly speaking , the burden borne now by the state because of women's going out is greater than any benefits that may result from women's going out to work . . . So why do we want women to go out and be active in society? Because the main aim is to make women become revolutionary , so that they will become part of the working class through their social activity . Our party encourages women to go out and be active�and making them part of the working class , no matter how great a burden this places on the state . "
No doubt the truly - guided Muslim woman knows exactly where she stands when she realises the great difference between the laws of Islam and the laws of jahiliyyah (ignorance) . So she chooses the laws of Allah , and does not pay any attention to the nonsense calls of jahiliyyah that come from here and there every so often :
?Is it then the judgment of (the times of) ignorance that they desire? And who is better than Allah to judge for a people who are sure) (Qur'an 5 : 50)
The Muslim woman who is proud of her Islamic identity does not imitate men at all , because she knows that for a woman to imitate men , or a man to imitate women , is forbidden by Islam . The wisdom and eternal law of Allah dictate that men have a character distinct from that of women , and vice versa
. This distinction is essential for both sexes , because each of them has its own unique role to play in life . The distinction between the basic functions and roles of each sex is based on the differences in character between them; in other words , men and women have different characters and personalities .
Islam put things in order when it defined the role in life of both men and women , and directed each to do that for which they were created . Going against this divinely ordained definition is a rebellion against the laws of nature according to which Allah created man , and is a distortion of the sound , original nature of man . This is surely abhorrent to both sexes , and nothing is more indicative of this than the fact that women despise those effeminate men who imitate women , and men despise those coarse , rough women who act like men . The universe cannot be cultivated and populated properly , and humanity cannot achieve true happiness , unless the sexes are clearly differentiated , so that each may appreciate and enjoy the unique character of the other , and both may work together to achieve those aims .
For all these reasons , Islamic teachings issue a severe and clear warning to men who imitate women and women who imitate men .
When the Muslims were in good shape , governed by the Shari`ah of Allah and guided by the light of Islam , there was no trace
of this problem of men and women resembling one another . But nowadays , when the light of Islam has dimmed in our societies , we find many young girls wearing tight , body - hugging trousers and unisex shirts , with uncovered heads and arms , who look like young men; and we find effeminate men , wearing chains of gold around their necks that dangle on their bare chests , and with long flowing hair that makes them look like young women . It is very difficult to tell the difference between them .
These shameful scenes that may be seen in some Islamic countries that have been overcome by al - ghazw al - fikri (intellectual colonialism) and whose youth are spiritually defeated are alien to the Islamic ummah and its values and customs . They have come to us from both the corrupt West and faithless East , which have been overwhelmed by waves of hippies , existentialism , frivolity and nihilism , and other deviant ideas that have misguided humanity and caused great suffering , as they have led people far away from their true , sound nature (fitrah) and distorted them , bringing the worst problems and diseases to those people as a result .
We have also suffered from the fall - out of all this , which overtook the lives of men and women who deviated from the guidance of Allah in some Muslim countries after the collapse of the khilafah and the disintegration of the ummah . Many
Islamic values were lost , and these deviant men and women became alienated from the ummah , rebelling against its true , original values and distinct character .
In her social life , the Muslim woman seeks to make friends with righteous women , so that they will be close friends and sisters to her , and she will be able to co - operate with them in righteousness , taqwa (piety) , and good deeds , and in guiding and teaching other women who may have little awareness of Islam . Mixing with righteous women always brings goodness , benefits and a great reward , and deepens women's sound understanding of Islam . For this reason it was encouraged in the Qur'an :
And withhold yourself with those who call on their Lord morning and evening desiring His goodwill , and let not your eyes pass from them , desiring the beauties of this world's life; and do not follow him whose heart We have made unmindful to Our remembrance , and he follows his low desires and his case is one in which due bounds are exceeded) . (Qur'an 18 : 28)
The true Muslim woman only makes friends with noble , virtuous , righteous , pious women , as the poet said : "Mixing with people of noble character , you will be counted as one of them , so do not take anyone else for a friend . "
The true Muslim woman does not find it difficult to mix with righteous women ,
even if they are apparently below her own socio - economic level . What really counts is a woman's essential personality , not her physical appearance or wealth . Moses (pbuh) , the Prophet of Allah , followed the righteous servant so that he might learn from him , saying with all good manners and respect :
Shall I follow you on condition that you should teach me right knowledge of what you have been taught?) (Qur'an 18 : 66)
When the righteous servant answered :
Verily , you will not be able to have patience with me!? (Qur'an 18 : 67(
Moses said , with all politeness and respect :
You will find me , if Allah wills , [truly] patient : nor shall I disobey you in aught . ? (Qur'an 18 : 69)
When choosing friends from among the righteous women , the Muslim woman does not forget that people are like metals , some of which are precious while others are base , as the Prophet (pbuh) explained when describing different types of people :
"People are metals like gold and silver . The best of them at the time of Jahiliyyah (pre - Islamic era) will be the best of them in Islam , if they truly understand . Souls are like conscripted soldiers; if they recognize one another , they will become friends , and if they dislike one another , they will go their separate ways . "
The Muslim woman also knows from the teachings of her religion that friends are of two types :
the righteous friend and the bad friend . The good friend is like the bearer of musk : when she sits with her , there is an atmosphere of relaxation , generosity , perfume and happiness . The bad friend is like the one who operates the bellows; when one sits with her , there is the heat of flames , smoke , stench and an atmosphere of gloom . The Prophet (pbuh) gave the best analogy of this :
"The good companion and the bad companion are like the bearer of musk and the one who pumps the bellows . With the bearer of musk , either he will give you a share , or you will buy from him , or you will smell a pleasant scent from him , but with the one , who pumps the bellows , either he will burn your clothes or you will smell a foul stench from him . "
The gatherings of righteous women , where Allah is remembered and the conversation is serious and beneficial , are surrounded by the angels and shaded by Allah with His mercy . In such gatherings , souls and minds are purified and refreshed . It befits righteous , believing women to increase their attendance at such gatherings and benefit from them , as this will do them good in this world and bring them a high status in the Hereafter .
The sincere Muslim woman for whom truthfulness has become a deeply - rooted characteristic does not cheat ,
deceive or stab in the back , because these worthless characteristics do not fit her . They contradict the values of truthfulness , and do not befit the Muslim woman . Truthfulness requires an attitude of sincerity , straightforwardness , loyalty and fairness , which leaves no room for cheating , lying , trickery , deceit or betrayal .
The Muslim woman who is filled with the guidance of Islam is truthful by nature , and has a complete aversion to cheating , deceiving and back - stabbing , which she sees as a sign of a person's being beyond the pale of Islam .
Muslim society is based on purity of human feeling , sincerity towards every Muslim , and fulfilment of promises to every member of the society . If any cheats or treasons are found in that society , they are most certainly alien elements whose character is in direct contrast to the noble character of true Muslims .
Islam views cheating , deception and backstabbing as heinous crimes which will be a source of shame to the guilty party both in this world and the next . The Prophet (pbuh) announced that on the Day of Resurrection , every traitor would be raised carrying the flag of his betrayal and a caller will cry out in the vast arena of judgment , pointing to and drawing attention to him :
"Every traitor will have a banner on the Day of Resurrection , and it will be said : `This is the betrayer of so -
and - so . '"
How great will be the shame of those traitors , men and women , who thought that their betrayal was long since forgotten , and now here it is , spread out for all to see and carried aloft on banners held by their own hands .
Their shame on the Day of Judgment will increase when they see the Prophet (pbuh) , who is the hope of intercession on that great and terrible Day , standing in opposition to them , because they have committed the heinous crime of betrayal , which is a crime of such enormity that it will deprive them of the mercy of Allah and the intercession of the Prophet (pbuh)
"Allah , may He be exalted , said : `There are three whom I will oppose on the Day of Resurrection : a man who gave his word , and then betrayed; a man who sold a free man into slavery and kept the money; and a man who hired someone , benefitted from his labour , then did not pay his wages . "
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by Islam refrains from all forms of deceit and backstabbing . They exist in many forms in the world of modern women , but the Muslim woman values herself too highly to include her among those cheating , deceiving women whom the Prophet (pbuh) considered to be hypocrites :
"There are four features , whoever has all of them is a true hypocrite , and whoever
has one of them has one of the qualities of a hypocrite until he gives it up; when he is trusted , he is unfaithful , when he speaks , he tells lies , when he make a promise , he proves treacherous; and when he disputes , he resorts to slander . "
The Muslim woman whose personality has been infused with a sense of humility and resistance to pride and arrogance cannot make fun of anybody . The Qur'anic guidance , which has instilled those virtues in her , also protects her from scorning or despising other women :
O you who believe! let not (one) people laugh at (another) people perchance they may be better than they , nor let women (laugh) at (other) women , perchance they may be better than they; and do not find fault with your own people nor call one another by nicknames; evil is a bad name after faith , and whoever does not turn , these are the unjust) . (Qur'an 49 : 11)
The Muslim woman also learns the attitude of modesty and gentleness from the example of the Prophet (pbuh) , so she avoids being arrogant and scorning or looking down on others when she reads the words of the Prophet (pbuh) as reported by Muslim , stating that despising her fellow Muslim women is pure evil :
"It is sufficient evil for a man to despise his Muslim brother . "
Among the attributes of the Muslim woman who understands and follows the teachings of Islam are her humility , truthfulness and realistic approach . She does not have an attitude of superiority , self - admiration and telling lies , and she does not claim to have more than she actually has in order to show off before her friends and peers under false pretences .
She tries to
avoid such unpleasant habits , because they do not befit the nature of a woman whose personality has been moulded by the principles of Islam . A woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) asking whether she would be permitted to say that her husband had given her something which he had not given her , in order to boast and show off . The Prophet (pbuh) replied :
"The one who creates a false impression of having been given something which he was not given is like the one who wears the garment of falsehood . "
Islam is a religion that is based on sincerity , purity , humility and realism; it abhors deception , haughtiness , arrogance , conceit and false claims . So Islam hates to see its followers boasting under false pretences , looking down on others , or hoarding wealth for love of fame . It sharply criticizes those who adopt such attitudes , just as it rebukes the one who wears the garment of falsehood .
The true Muslim is natural in her behavior and conduct; she does not exaggerate or affect her speech in order to attract attention , because these are sickening , hateful attributes that do not exist in people of sound nature . Only those who are twisted or whose sound nature is lacking speak in an exaggerated or affected manner . For this reason the Prophet (pbuh) was very strict towards those men and women who exaggerate in their speech .
Another of the qualities of the true Muslim woman is that she is not over - strict , and does not go to extremes with regard to matters that Islam has permitted on certain occasions , such as the singing that is permitted on Eid and at weddings , or watching some entertaining games or sports , so long as they are not accompanied by any form of corruption that may lead to fitnah (enticement . (
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam should be very serious in her attitude , concentrating on noble aims and shunning frivolities . But this should not stop her from having fun occasionally , in ways that are permitted by Islam , which leaves room for such entertainment . The Wise Lawgiver understands the nature of people and their inclination to relax and have fun from time to time , so that they can then return refreshed to their serious pursuits , with renewed vigour , stronger determination , and more prepared to shoulder the burdens of
their responsibilities . This is the balanced , integrated , wise approach that Islam brings .
The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islam does not enter a house other than her own without seeking permission and saying Salam (greeting) to the people who live there . This seeking permission is a divine commandment which is not to be evaded or ignored :
O you who believe! Do not enter houses other than your own houses until you have asked permission and saluted their inmates; this is better for you , that you may be mindful . But if you do not find any one therein , then do not enter them until permission is given to you; and if it is said to you : Go back , then go back; this is purer for you; and Allah is Cognizant of what you do�And when the children among you have attained to puberty , let them seek permission as those before them sought permission�) (Qur'an 24 : 27 - 28 , � 59)
The Muslim woman should never think of seeking permission to enter a house that she is not permitted to enter , such as a house where there are only non - mahram men present . When she seeks permission to enter , it is to go to where there are other women or men who are permitted to see her (i . e . mahram) , and no one else - in accordance with the commands of Allah and His Messenger .
are certain manners in seeking permission which Islam urges Muslim men and women to follow whenever they want to visit somebody :
(1) The woman who is seeking permission to enter should not stand squarely in front of the door , but to the right or left of it . This is what the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) used to do . `Abdullah ibn Bisr , the Companion of the Prophet (pbuh) said :
"Whenever the Prophet (pbuh) came to a door seeking permission to enter , he did not stand facing it; he would stand to the right or the left . If he was given permission , he would enter , otherwise he would leave . "
(2) She should say Salam and then ask for permission . Seeking permission before saying Salam is incorrect .
(3) She should identify herself clearly when asked "Who are you?" by giving her name or kunyah (surname) . She should not reply in vague terms , such as "It is me . " The Prophet (pbuh) disliked such an answer from a person knocking at the door; as such words do not give a clear idea of the person's identity . He said that a person should state his or her name clearly when asking to come in .
Jabir said : "I came to the Prophet (pbuh) and knocked at the door . He said , `Who is this?' I answered , `Me , ' and he said , `Me? Me?' as if he disliked this answer . "
(pbuh) thus taught us that according to the Sunnah when seeking permission to enter is to state one's name clearly . This is what he and his noble companions used to do .
(4) She should go back if she is asked to do so , without getting upset or angry . This is the commandment of Allah in the Qur'an :
. . . and if it is said to you : Go back , then go back; this is purer for you; and Allah is Cognizant of what you do . ?
The Prophet (pbuh) taught that permission to enter should only be sought three times , then if permission is given one may enter , otherwise one should go back
These are the Islamic rules and manners pertaining to seeking permission to enter a house . No doubt the true Muslim woman who is keen to follow Islamic etiquette will apply these rules in her everyday life , each time she knocks on a door to seek permission to enter , and she will also teach these manners to her sons and daughters .
Another of the qualities of the well - mannered Muslim woman is that she does not look around the home of her host or seek to inspect its contents . This is not a behaviour that befits the wise , decent Muslim woman; it is a hateful , undesirable attitude . The Prophet (pbuh) warned those who let their gaze wander in gatherings and try to see things that are none of
their business , and he said that it was permissible to put their eyes out :
"Whoever looks into someone's home without his permission , and then it is permissible for the people of the house to put their eyes out . " .
The Muslim woman who knows the teachings of her religion has insight and is balanced and self - controlled . When she is stricken by the death of one of those whom she loves , she does not let grief make her lose her senses , as is the case with shallow , ignorant women who fall apart with grief . She bears it with patience , hoping for reward from Allah , and follows the guidance of Islam in her behaviour at this difficult time .
She never wails over the deceased , because wailing is not an Islamic deed; it is the practice of the kuffar (unbelievers) , and one of the customs of jahiliyyah (time of ignorance) . The Prophet (pbuh) was very explicit in his emphatic prohibition of wailing , to the extent that it was regarded as kufr (disbelief) :
"There are two qualities in people that are indicative of kufr : casting doubts on a person's lineage , and wailing over the dead . "
The Prophet (pbuh) effectively excluded from the Muslim community those men and women who wail and eulogise the dead when he said :
"He is not one of us who strikes his cheeks , or tears his garment , or speaks the words of jahiliyyah
The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of Islam knows that death is real (due) , that everyone on this earth is mortal and that this life is merely a corridor to the Hereafter , where eternity will be in the presence of Allah . So there is no need for this uncontrollable grief , which makes a person become unbalanced and lose his reason so that he starts to strike his own face and tear his clothes , screaming with grief and loss .
Although Islam has forbidden senseless jahili (of the (pre - Islamic) age of ignorance) actions like sticking one's cheeks , tearing one's garment , wailing and eulogizing . Grief is that which overwhelms the heart and the tears that softly flow at the departure of a loved one . All of this is part of the legitimate human emotion and the Prophet (pbuh) in his words and deeds demonstrated gentle compassion that Allah has instilled in people�s hearts .
The Prophet (pbuh) approved expressing grief by letting tears flow , because people have no power to restrain tears at times of grief , but he forbade every deed that can inflame and exacerbate grief . Shedding tears , in moderation , can help to soothe the pain of grief , but wailing , eulogising , screaming and other jahili actions only increase the anguish and make a person more prone to collapse . These actions are what the Arabs used to do at the time of jahiliyyah , when a person
would even request it before his death , so that others would come and wail over the dead , enumerating his good qualities and exaggerating about the impact of this bereavement .
Because of this clear , definitive prohibition of wailing , screaming , eulogising , tearing one's garments and other jahili actions , the Muslim woman can do nothing but submit to the commands of Allah and His Messenger , and keep away from everything that could compromise the purity of her faith in the will and decree of Allah . She does not just stop there; however , she also calls women who may be unaware of this to obey the laws of Allah and to keep away from wailing , once they have understood the commandments of Allah and His Messenger .
In this case , women's position is the opposite of men's position . Islam encourages men to attend funerals and to accompany the body until it is buried , but it dislikes women to do so , because their presence could result in inappropriate situations that would compromise the dignity of death and the funeral rites . Accompanying the deceased until the burial offers a great lesson to those who do it , and seeking forgiveness for the deceased , and thinking of the meaning of death that touches every living thing :
Wherever you are , death will find you out , even if you are in towers built up strong and high! . . . ? (Qur'an 4 : 78)
Prophet (pbuh) discouraged women to attend funerals (in the graveyard) (made it makruh) , but did not forbid it outright , because his discouraging it should be enough to make the obedient Muslim woman refrain from doing it . This is a sign of the strength of her Islam , her sincere obedience to Allah and His Messenger , and her willingness to adopt the attitude , which is better and more suitable .
In the previous pages , I have explained the character of the Muslim woman , as Islam wants her to be , according to the wise guidance given to her in all aspects of life and in the forming of her mind , soul , psyche , morals and behaviour . This is referred to quite clearly in many ayat and ahadith , which strike a precise balance in her character , in such a way that no one aspect dominates at the expense of another , and vividly describe the ideal way of dealing with one's parents , relatives , husband , children , neighbours , friends and sisters in Islam , and others whom one meets in the society where one lives .
It is abundantly clear that the Muslim woman who is guided by Islam is pure , constructive , productive , alert , aware , educated and refined . She fully understands her duties towards Allah , and towards herself , her parents , her husband and children , her relatives , her neighbours , her friends and
sisters in Islam , and her society as a whole , with all the different types of people , events and transactions it includes .
She believes in Allah and the Last Day; she is alert to the trials of this life and the traps of the Shaytan (Satan); she worships Allah , obeys His commands , heeds His prohibitions , accepts His will and decree , returns to His protection and seeks His forgiveness when she stumbles or becomes negligent; she is aware of her responsibility before Allah towards the members of her family; she is keen to please Him by whatever she does , she understands the true meaning of being a servant of Allah and supports His true religion , she enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil as much as she is able .
She is aware of her obligations towards herself , understanding that she is a human being composed of a body , mind and soul , each of which has its own needs and requirements . Hence she is careful to strike the right balance between her body , mind and spirit; she does not devote attention to one at the expense of the others , rather , she devotes to each of them the attention that is needed to form a balanced personality , always guided by the wise teachings of Islam as seen in the Qur'an , Sunnah and the example of the righteous , infallible imams (pbut) who followed in the footsteps of the Prophet
(pbuh) with all sincerity .
She takes care of her outward appearance without going to extremes of excess or showing off , and she takes care of her inner nature in a manner that befits the human being whom Allah has honoured by making the angels prostrate to him and subjugating all that is in heaven and earth for his benefit . In this way , she develops a balanced , likeable character , one that is attractive both in appearance and in her thinking , reasoning , behaviour and reactions .
She does not allow her care of her body and mind to distract her from spiritual matters; she devotes just as much attention to her spiritual development , and polishes her soul through worship , Dhikr and reading the Qur'an . Her guideline in all of this is to maintain a precise balance between all aspects of her personality .
She treats her parents with kindness and respect . She knows their status , and her duties towards them , and she is very cautious not to disobey them . She never spares any effort to find the best way to treat them properly , and she surrounds them with every type of care , honour and respect .
With her husband , she is an ideal wife , intelligent , respectful , obedient , tolerant and loving , eager to please him and to respect and honour his family . She conceals his secrets , and helps him to be righteous , to fear Allah and
to do good deeds . She fills his heart with happiness , peace and tranquillity .
With her children , she is a loving , compassionate mother who wisely understands the great importance of her motherly role in bringing them up . She makes them aware of her love and care for them , and never withholds right guidance from them or fails to correct them if they need it , so that they will grow up with an ideal Islamic upbringing that will cultivate in them the best morals and attitudes and a love for the highest things .
With her daughters - and sons - in - law , she is kind , fair and wise , and offers them sincere advice . She does not interfere in their private matters . She treats them well and strives to strengthen the bonds of love and to ward off the evils of disputes .
With her relatives , she upholds the ties of love , and does not neglect to keep in touch and treat them well . She is keen to maintain the relationship even if they do not uphold the ties , acting in obedience to the teachings of Islam , which urge the upholding of the ties of kinship with love and affection .
She treats her neighbours well and is concerned about them . She knows the great rights they have , which Gabriel emphasised to the Prophet (pbuh) so strongly that the Prophet thought he was going to make them his heirs .
So she likes for them what she likes for herself . She treats them well , respects their feelings , puts up with their insults , turns a blind eye to their faults and mistakes , and is careful not to mistreat them or to fall short in her treatment of them .
With her friends and sisters in Islam , she is distinguished from other women by the way in which she builds her relationship with them on a basis of love for the sake of Allah , which is the highest and purest love that exists among human beings , as it is free from any impurity or ulterior motive and its purity is derived from the light of the Revelation and Prophetic guidance . Therefore , the Muslim woman is sincere and tolerant in her feelings of love and sisterhood towards her sisters , and she is keen to maintain the ties of sisterhood and love between her and them . She does not cut them off , forsake them , gossip about them , hurt their feelings with hostile arguments and disputes , bear grudges , or withhold any favour she could do for them , and she always greets them with a cheerful , smiling face .
In her relationship with her society , she is a social being of the highest class , because of what she has learned of the wise teachings of Islam concerning social dealings and high morals . From the rich spring of Islam she derives her
customs , habits and behaviour and the ethics and values which purify her soul and form her distinct social character .
She is of good character (has a good attitude towards others) and is sincere and straightforward with all people . She does not cheat , deceive or stab in the back . She is not a hypocrite . She does not speak falsely (or bear false witness) . She offers sincere advice and guides others to good deeds . She keeps her promises . She has the characteristic of modesty and self - respect . She does not interfere in that which does not concern her . She avoids slandering the honour of others and seeking out their faults . She does not show off . She is fair in her judgements about others . She does not oppress others . She is fair even to those whom she does not like . She does not rejoice at the misfortunes of others . She avoids suspicion . She restrains her tongue from malicious gossip . She avoids cursing and obscene speech . She does not make fun of anybody . She is gentle with people . She is compassionate . She strives to benefit others and protect them from harm . She eases the hardship of one who is suffering . She is generous . She does not remind the beneficiaries of her charity . She is patient . She is tolerant . She does not bear grudges or harbour resentment . She is easy
- going , not harsh . She is not envious . She avoids boasting and showing off . She does not speak in an affected or exaggerated manner . She has a likeable personality . She is friendly and likeable . She keeps secrets . She is of cheerful countenance . She has a sense of humour . She tries to make people happy . She is not over - strict . She is not arrogant . She is humble . She is modest in her dress and appearance . She pursues noble things . She is concerned about the affairs of the Muslims . She honours guests . She prefers others to herself . She measures her habits and customs against the standards of Islam . She uses the greeting of Islam . She does not enter any house other than her own without permission . She sits wherever she finds room in a gathering . She does not converse privately with another woman when a third is present . She respects her elders and distinguished people . She does not look into any house other than her own . She chooses work that suits her feminine nature . She does not imitate men . She calls others to the truth . She enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil . She is wise and eloquent in her da`wah (mission) . She mixes with righteous women . She hastens to reconcile between Muslim women . She mixes with women and puts up
with their insults . She appreciates favours and is grateful for them . She visits the sick . She does not attend funerals .
This is the personality of the Muslim woman as defined by the teachings of Islam .
No doubt the Muslim woman is the most refined example of womanhood ever known in any human society . Along with all the fine qualities listed above , the Muslim woman also possesses wisdom , purity of soul , a high level of spirituality , a sound concept of life , the universe and humanity , and a deep awareness of her important role in life .
Surely a woman's reaching such a high level of intellectual , psychological , spiritual and moral development is a great human blessing , which is unequalled by any of the many other blessings that human beings enjoy . It is a cultural achievement greater than any other reached by humanity in its long history . The fact that women have reached this high level of development means that they are mature and are fully qualified to play their important role in life .
What we see today in many parts of the Muslim world of Muslim women's backwardness and failure to reach that high level that Islam wants for them , is a result of the fact that the Muslims in general have wandered far away from the pure sources of Islam and have become lost in various kinds of jahiliyyah or intellectual and psychological dependency on others . None of this
would have happened to the Muslims in general , and Muslim women in particular , if the Muslims had preserved their spiritual and intellectual sources properly , and men and women had drunk from these pure sources which would have given them immunity , originality and distinction .
Whilst the attack on the Muslim world was aimed at the identity of the Muslims in general , men and women alike , to disrupt it and to contaminate its original intellectual sources , no doubt many prongs of this attack were aimed at the Muslim woman in particular , with the aim of stripping her of the dress of virtue by which she had been known throughout history , and making her wear the alien , tight - fitting , borrowed dress that makes her look like a copy of foreign women in her appearance , thinking and behaviour .
Various societies , organizations and movements devoted tremendous efforts to the call for the Westernization of Muslim women . Al - hamdu lillah (praise be to Allah) , all of it ended in failure in the face of the reawakening of educated Muslim women who understood the teachings of Islam . Many of the men and women who supported Westernization have now retreated , admitting the depth of the Muslim woman's belief , and the originality of Islam in her thinking , psychology and feelings .
The great hopes that are pinned on the Muslim woman , who is aware of her role , require her to be even
stronger in proving her Islamic identity , wherever she may live and whatever her circumstances may be . By reinforcing her Islamic identity , she clearly demonstrates her awareness , high aims , sincerity and devotion to Islam and its distinctive culture . This is also indicative of her ability to contribute to the revival of the ummah to which she belongs and the development of the country she lives in .
- 1 The Noble Qur�an , translated by M . H . Shakir . Ansarian Pub . Qum . Iran . 2002 .
- 2 Dr . Ala - eddin Pazargadi . A Selection of the maxims Uttered by the Noble Prophet of Islam and Impeccable Imams . Tehran . 2000 .
- 3 Al - Bukhari and Muslim . See Sharh al - Sunnah , 13/92 , Kitab al - birr wa'l - silah , bab al - nasihah
- 4 Sahih Muslim , 2/108 , Kitab al - iman , bab qawl al - Nabi (pbuh) man ghashshana fa laysa minna .
- 5 Hayat al - Sahabah 3/99 .
- 6 Fath al - Bari , 9/225 , Kitab al - nikah , bab al - niswah allati yahdina al - mar'ah ila zawjiha .
- 7Al - Adab Al - Mufrad , 1/146 , Bab ithm qati' al - rahm
8 - Javadi Amoli , Abdollah . Zan dar aeeney e jalal va jamal . Eisra Pub . Qum . Iran . 1999 .
- 9 Usool al - Kafi . book 6th .
- 10 Jame� Ahadith Al - Shia . Book 20th .
- 11 Wasa�il
Al - Shia . Talaq Book .
- 12 Bihar Al - Anwar . Book 103th .
Adhkar : plural of dhikr , q . v .
)Al - A�immah al - Atthar) (PBUT) : twelve supreme leaders of Shiites; that is , Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (pbuh) and his two holy sons and grandchildren of Imam Hussein (pbuh) , the younger brother , generation by generation in order .
Ahlul - bayt : (Etrat Ar - rasool) : al - A�immah al - Atthar (pbut) accompanied by Fatima Bint al - rasool (pbuh(
Ansar : (literally , "helpers") , the Muslim of Yathrib (Medina) who welcomed those who migrated from Mecca and helped them to settle in their new home .
Ayah (pl . ayat) : (literally , "sign") a "verse" of the Qur'an .
Birr : righteousness , kindness , good treatment . This word is often used to describe the attitude that a Muslim should have towards his or her parents , which may be summed up as "filial piety . "
Dhikr (plural , adhkar) : (literally "remembrance" i . e . of Allah) . Remembering Allah should be a constant feature of the Muslim's life . The Prophet (pbuh) also taught some phrases and prayers that help us to remember Allah .
Du`a' : supplication , "private" or "informal" prayer , which may be in Arabic or one's own language .
Fajr : the early Morning Prayer , performed before sunrise .
Fiqh : jurisprudence , the understanding and application of Shari`ah .
Fitnah : trial , temptation; tribulation , tumult
Fitrah : the natural state of man , which is Islam .
Ghusl : full ablution .
Hadith : a saying or tradition of the Prophet (pbuh) .
Hadith qudsi : (literally "sacred hadith") a hadith containing words of Allah that were narrated by the Prophet (pbuh) , but which do not form part of the Qur'an .
Hajj : pilgrimage to Mecca , performed once a year during the Islamic month of Dhu`l - Hijjah; this is one of the pillars of Islam , and should be performed once in a lifetime by every Muslim who is able to do so .
Halal : permitted , allowed
Haram : forbidden , prohibited .
Haya' : bashfulness , shyness .
Hijab : the Islamic dress - code and related attitudes . Although the word "Hijab" is often used by English - speaking Muslims to refer specifically to the head - covering , it in fact refers to the whole dress - code .
`Iddah : "waiting period , " usually three menstrual cycles , which a divorced woman must observe before she is free to remarry . The purpose is to establish whether she is pregnant with her ex - husband's child (if she were to remarry immediately , there is the possibility of doubt regarding the paternity of a child conceived immediately) . If she is pregnant , her `iddah lasts until the baby is born .
Imam : leader; may refer to the person who leads others in prayers , or to the ruler or leader of an Islamic state . The word
is also used as a title of respect for eminent scholars .
`Isha' : the night - time prayer , performed after the sun has set .
Jahili : of or pertaining to jahiliyyah , q . v .
Jahiliyyah : ignorance . The time preceding the revelation of Islam is known as the "Time of Ignorance . "
Jama`ah : group or congregation
Jibril : the Archangel who conveyed the revelation of the Qur'an to the Prophet (pbuh) . The English version of his name is Gabriel .
Jihad : (literally "struggle" or "striving") . Although this word is often translated as "holy war , " it has a broader meaning than warfare on the battlefield . Any act of striving to please Allah may be described as jihad .
Jumu`ah : Friday , the Muslim day of gathering when men have to go to the mosque to hear the khutbah and pray the congregational prayer . (Attendance is optional for women . )
Kafir : disbeliever , one who rejects the truth .
Khalifah : successor or vicegerent . Specifically , it refers to the Muslim ruler .
Khutbah : speech , address or sermon , especially that given at Friday and Eid prayers .
Kufr : disbelief , rejection of the truth .
Kunyah : agnomen beginning with Abu or Umm (father of , mother of) and the name of the oldest child or more frequently , the name of the oldest son . This is an ancient Arabic custom which was continued in Islam and adopted by other people who became Muslim .
The kunyah of the Prophet (pbuh) was Abul Qasim .
La ilaha illallah : "There is no god but Allah . " The fundamental declaration of Tawhid , the central tenet of Islam .
Mahram : a man whom a woman may never marry because of the degree of closeness of the blood - relationship , i . e . father , brother , son , uncle , etc . A woman is not required to observe hijab in front of her mahram .
Minbar : "pulpit , " the steps on which the imam stands to deliver the khutbah at Friday prayers .
Muhajir : migrants , one who migrates for the sake of Allah . The original Muhajirin were the Muslims who migrated from Mecca to Yathrib (Medina) .
Mushrik : polytheist , one who associates others in worship with Allah .
rak`ah : a "unit" or "cycle" of prayer , consisting of standing and reciting the Sura of al - Fatihah and another Sura , bowing , standing upright again , then kneeling and prostrating twice . Prayers consist of two , three or four rak`ahs .
Sadaqah : charity .
Sahabah : the Companions of the Prophet (pbuh) .
Sahabi : singular of Sahabah .
Sahih : with reference to ahadith , sound , authentic .
Salat : the "formal" prayer which is to be offered five times a day .
Shari`ah : Islamic law
Sirah : biography , specifically that of the Prophet (pbuh) .
Siwak : a small stick which comes from a specific tree and is used as a toothbrush . In
the West , siwak may be purchased at Islamic bookstores and halal grocery stores .
Tabarruj : wanton display , flaunting oneself in contradiction to the Islamic rulings on dress and modest behaviour .
Tabi`i : (literally "follower") a member of the generation of Muslims following the Sahabah , May Allah be pleased with them . A Muslim who met or saw a Sahabi is described as a Tabi`i .
Tahajjud : voluntary prayer that is performed at night between the times of `isha' and fajr .
Tajwid : correct recitation of Qur'an , following precise rules of pronunciation and articulation .
Taqwa : piety , "God - consciousness . " Taqwa involves constant awareness and remembrance of Allah , and conscious efforts to adhere to His commandments and abstain from whatever He has forbidden .
Tasbih : saying "subhan - Allah" ("Glory be to Allah") .
`Ulama' (singular : `alim) : scholars , people of knowledge .
Ummah : community or nation , the body of Muslims as a distinct and integrated entity . The ummah of Islam is not based on language , race or ethnicity , but encompasses everyone who believes in Allah alone and in the Prophethood of Muhammad (pbuh) .
Wajib : obligatory , compulsory .
Wudu' : "partial" ablution which is required before prayer if one has passed wind , urine or stools .
Zakat : "poor - due" or "charity - tax . " Muslims whose wealth is above a certain limit must pay a percentage of it (in most cases 2 . 5%) to the poor and needy
. Zakat is one of the pillars of Islam .
(pbuh) : (peace be upon him) sallallahu `alyahi wa Alihi wa sallam : May Allah bless him and grant him and his family peace (said following mention of Prophet Muhammad and his holy family; "Ahlulbayte" . )
(pbut) : peace be upon them (the infallible imams)
(RAA) : radiy Allahu `anhu/`anha/`anhum : May Allah be pleased with him/her/them (following mention of the Prophet's Companions and wives) .
In the name of Allah
Are those who know equal to those who do not know?
For several years now, the ghaemiyeh Computer Research Center has been producing mobile software, digital libraries, and offering them for free. This center is completely popular and is supported by gifts, vows, endowments and the allocation of the blessed share of Imam PBUH. For more service, you can also join the center's charitable people wherever you are.
Do you know that not every money deserves to be spent in the way of the Ahl al-Bayt (as)?
And not every person will have this success?
Congratulations to you.
card number :
Bank Mellat account number:
Sheba account number:
Named: (Ghaemieh Computer Research Institute)
Deposit your gift amounts.
Address of the central office:
Isfahan, Abdorazaq St, Haj Mohammad JafarAbadei Alley, Shahid Mohammad HasanTavakkoly Alley, Number plate 129, first floor
Central office Tel: 03134490125
Tehran Tel: 88318722 ـ 021
Commerce and sale: 09132000109
Users’ affairs: 09132000109
Introduction of the Center – Ghaemiyeh Digital Library